That moment when your muscles don’t ache but you kinda wish they did.

So life has been quite hectic for the last few months. Ever since I started getting back into music my Kung Fu training has been pushed to the back burner. I knew it was going to happen. I talked to my Sifu (teacher) about it and we both agreed that it was likely going to happen.. And there may even be a point where I may have to leave our school for good if that’s where this crazy musical road takes me, but I didn’t know what it would feel like.

I started training when I was a kid. My dad enrolled us when we were 8-9, an he would teach us himself as well. A lot of the exercises I do with Ethan are ones that he taught me back then. When my dad passed away a year later, the lessons stopped, but I still practiced what I could remember. Finally when I was 18 I could afford to enroll myself in classes.

It was all downhill from there 😉

Anyway, from 2001-2011 Kung fu took up the majority of my free time, and I was okay with that! I love it. It’s in my blood, it’s engrained in everything I do. But life started getting in the way. It’s hard to train consistently when you have nowhere and no time to do it.

So over the last few months things have gotten more and more hectic outside of Kung fu (side note: I don’t know why auto correct keeps making the k in Kung uppercase, but I’m tired of trying to fix it) and I’ve been training and teaching less and less until finally I began to wonder if maybe this is it. Maybe this is the end of my martial arts career? It’s been over ten years… I got my black sash. I got my Sifu title… Taught some really great students… Maybe this is it now? Maybe I’m going to be one of those people that looks at martial arts and goes “Oh yeah! I used to do that when I was younger. I even got my black sash. I used to teach it!”

That doesn’t sit well in my stomach. It leaves an awkward taste in my mouth. Like I just took a sip of expired soymilk to see if it’s good and it’s most definitely not.

So I have to say… I’m sore.

My legs are killing me. My back is tight. My arms are tired. My muscles are constantly begging to be massaged or stretched and all I can think of is “Damn I missed this feeling!”

I may not have Kung fu on the forefront of my life right now but I’m far from finished with it. I’ve got so much to learn and so much to teach. I still want to get in the ring and I there are still weapons I’ve yet to pick up!

One of the best things about Kung fu is that you never stop learning… I love it 🙂 It’s in me and I’ll never be done with it.

Here’s a video of me doing a combination of broadsword forms from like 5 years ago lol. I don’t have many videos on YouTube.. Enjoy!



If you’re like me, you don’t like to waste things. Maybe it’s that never ending feeling of guilt that your Great Depression survivor relatives have instilled in you since you were a kid. Maybe it’s just that you know what it’s like to go without. Whatever the reason, we hold on to things. I hold on to things until they are absolutely useless and then sometimes still a little while longer. Like my shoes. They sit have holes in them… Yet! Or my jeans… They have holes in them.. You know, stylish kind. But not the pre-torn bull, I earn all of the rips in my jeans!

So my phone was stolen last week. It was a very upsetting situation. Since I don’t have Internet or a landline at home, I pretty much do all of my correspondence via cell phone. So… Things were pretty silent for a few days, which was actually kinda nice.

I was upset, though. That cell had so many pictures, so many videos, and so many half written songs (and some finished ones!) that are now gone forever…

And yes, I usually back my files up on a computer, but I had been slacking on that for about a month 😦

Anyway, I was able to contact AT&T and they bumped up my upgrade date so that I can just upgrade to a new phone! Silver lining spotted! So now I have a fancy shmancy iPhone and I plan on doing fancy shmancy things with it 😀 and if my ol Blackberry hadn’t been stolen I wouldn’t have upgraded. At least not for a few months! 🙂

Yay for new things.

Speaking of new things, I’ve made a video for this new song, I’m in a new band, and I’m thinking of starting a new food blog!


What Inspires You?

It’s a question I find hard to answer. Some people have a focus on a certain person, place, or achievement, I think, and maybe that’s what inspires them. Me? It’s… more of a feeling.

When I hear a song that makes me feel good, no matter what the style of music, it inspires me. It’s that “inspired” feeling that I strive for and that I hope to relay to others.

People like to tell us things. Particularly what we should do or think or how to respond to situations. Usually what they’re trying to do is help us figure things out, but many times it doesn’t quite fit. I have a few acquaintances that tend to say the wrong things at the wrong time, or somehow just seem to fit in a few condescending phrases among a slew of compliments or idle chatter. I’m not sure if they mean well or not, but my reaction is usually first of shock, then of frustration, and then… motivation. It’s the most unhealthy motivation, I think, but I guess if it works it works.

I remember when I was a kid and other kids would tease me about the way I looked or the things I liked, I would think, “One day they’ll be sorry because I’ll be famous..” or something along those lines. My intention was for anyone who’d wronged me growing up to look back and say, “Man, I wish I hadn’t done that to her. Look at her now.”

It sounds like a cheesy after school special, but there it is.

Anyway, I’m still working on the end of that story, but that’s an example of one thing that inspires me: Proving the naysayers wrong.

Again, not the healthiest, but it is what it is.

What inspires you?

Finding Time and Making Time

I’m updating from the audience. Listening to Jess perform with a group of talented singer/songwriters on an awesome set.

It used to bug me, looking out at the crowd and seeing people messing with their phones, but I guess that’s how things are these days.. Because why should I complain as long as they’re bobbing their heads or their knees, or tapping their toes and smiling. They might be updating their FB statuses to “Listening to an awesome singer, check her out at____ ” or something fantastic like that.

So I’m ok with it as long as you show you’re listening with your body language.

So anywho. Angela Sheik is playing right now. *Killin’ it.*

But that’s not what this post is about.

I think there’s a quote by someone more important than me that says that the most precious gift you can give is your time. Its so true. And its a gift I love to give and wish I had more to. I wish I could spend days with one person at a time but not miss anything in the meantime. I treasure deep conversations, carefree adventures, and exciting nights out. I wish I could have them with all of my friends all the time, one at a time, and in groups.

I haven’t had much sleep this week, so I apologize for the random format of this post. I’ve been quite busy with all this time I’m spending.

Time spent at work.
Time spent working.
Time spent with friends.
Time spent with family.
Time spent with friends that are family and family that are friends.
Time I wish I was spending with my son but have been unable to due to it being his dad’s week.

Saturdays. I love Saturdays even though they kill me.

Four hours of training, a birthday party and a show.

I love it!

But I’m tired.

Anyway, I am going to stop blogging because I lost my point a long time ago between songs. A few last things, though:

My friends have the most beautiful children and I love them all. I want to gather them all up and take a group photo while they’re still young.

All four of these artists are amazing and I will post links for them later.

And I think I’m going to start training to fight in the ring. It feels like its about time. I just… have to make the time.


Not much of an update.

It’s really not that I haven’t had time to post, but it seems like when I do have time I tend to spend it doing other things.

I have 5 minutes, so I’ll keep this brief..

I was on the radio! This time for the whole show. It was super fun and I hope to have more radio stuff in the near future, once I figure out how and why.
You can listen here:
The show was dated 7/8.

I also had a great show on Friday. I’ll post more about that later. Upcoming shows are on my schedule page.

There’s a lot that’s been sitting on my “to do-eventually” list for a long time and I have to be honest.. It drives me nuts…

There really just isn’t enough time in the day to read the books I want to read, watch the movies I want to see, see the people I love, clean the shelves and the closets, organize everything in my entire life, build a new turtle habitat, get a hair cut, omg… The list is overwhelming.
And when I get a free moment? I just want to relax and turn off my brain.
I get into this “this has to be done or I’m a failure at life” mode and it stresses me out. So I write lists for things to do every day. Mostly because if I don’t I’ll be wandering around like a chicken with no head feeling completely lost.

Like my train of thought. Lost.
Which is one of my all time favorite shows: LOST.

5 minutes is up.

Anyway, I started using Tumblr again.

Go with the flow.

This morning was a laid back class. One of my students was late, but she made up for it by bringing me a latte and that’s a good thing.

During tai chi I realized that everyone was having trouble focusing, so I stopped and watched.

I love teaching and helping other people have those “aha” moments that I’ve experienced during my training (and still do). When they finished the form, everyone looked so frazzled. No one was relaxed and no one could figure out why. We all sat down and instead of analyzing what we did or how we lost our focus we just… Breathed.

Everything around us is a distraction. This phone in my hand is a distraction. My job is a distraction. Negativity and stressors are distractions. There are so many distractions around us that have the potential to keep us from our blessings. How do we keep ourselves on track? How do we not lose heart? How do we “just breathe”?

We accept that we can’t change or remove all our distractions. We can’t always remove ourselves from our distractions. We have to let them pass by like logs down a river. Focus on what’s real within you. The positive things that matter, like the good friends you have, the great music you listen to, the beauty in nature, or even something as simple as the warmth of the sun or a warm blanket on a cold night. The good is always out there, you have to look past the distractions to find it.

Where we struggle is when we try to make something permanent that is constantly changing. Life has ups and downs. Your body, your mind, your spirit, they are constantly changing. If you struggle so hard to keep things the same all the time, you will fail. So be like the river. Be like the air around you, it keeps flowing and moving no matter how the environment changes, and… go with the flow.

Because no matter what, there are good things. There are blessings waiting for you to love and accept them. Distractions will come. Don’t get angry about them, anticipate them, or fight against them. When they get to be too much? Take a moment to close your eyes and breathe. Focus on the inside of you. The fact that you have a beating heart and lungs that work and that things are going to change.

A very sweet and influential person in my life told me once, “Don’t miss out on your blessings.”

They’re out there.