I can see why people give up.

The words have echoed so many times in my head I can’t stand to hear them anymore. 

“It would be so easy to just stop.”

Just give up. Just let it go.  Accept defeat.  Accept that maybe you’re just not cut out for the life that you’ve always dreamed of. Look, you’re thirty one years old and you’re still nowhere near where you want to be in life. Sure, you’ve got some things accomplished, but is that enough? Are you really going to continue to try and climb this hill when you just keep sliding back down (and hitting rocks and branches along the way)?  Just give up.

Maybe in order to make it in this business you have to sort of like pain. Not that I enjoy pain! I certainly don’t!  But I’ve lived with enough of it to become quite acquainted with it. To expect it. To wonder where it is when it isn’t around.

Sounds unhealthy.

Anyway, I can see why people give up. There are so many distractions in life. So many good and bad things that can pull you away from your main focus. 

And it’s hard!

You’re constantly comparing yourself to others who are where you want to be and you’re constantly wondering if your efforts will be fruitless.  There are people who are just waiting to claw at you and pull you back down when you even get a little bit ahead. Nitpicking at your appearance, your sound, your accomplishments. Making you question your own work.  Usually it gives me fuel. When someone tells me I can’t do something it makes me want to do it even more.  But after awhile of being in the ring, you get tired. You need that hype man, you need that encouragement to keep going.  Stay on your feet. Keep your eyes open. Don’t drop your guard.

The problem is you won’t always have that hype man. You won’t always have your friends and family around when you fall to tell you that you can get back up and stay in the fight.  They intend to be, sure! But sometimes they just can’t be. Sometimes you have them, but 100% of the time it will come down to you.

And God.

Personally, I have to constantly remind myself through prayer and scripture that God is still with me. 

Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you. Gen. 18:15

Yet another thing that would just be so easy.  Just throw up your hands at God and tell Him that He’s not working for you. He’s not helping you. He’s not doing anything for you. 

No, I can’t do that. The more difficult thing is to look at what’s going on in your life and force yourself to remember that God isn’t working FOR you. He’s working ON you. He didn’t create you so that He can do your bidding, He created you to become something amazing.  He wants YOU to be a blessing to others.  What kind of blessing are you when you’re not getting anything accomplished in your own life? That’s not what He wants for you. He wants you to be able to shine and show the world that you’re shining because of Him.

But it’s dark, it’s scary, it’s frustrating, and you might look at your dreams and how far away they are from where you’re standing and you think there is absolutely no way that you’ll ever make it because you don’t know how…. but HE knows how. And you might be afraid that you’ll never make it. You’ll die before you get there.  Maybe accomplishing your goals requires a lot of risk and a lot of putting your neck out.. it’s scary! Maybe it requires hours upon hours of additional work on top of what you’ve already got going on in your life. How are we supposed to accomplish so much in such a small amount of time???

But Jesus looked at them and said, “For mortals it is impossible, but for God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

I can certainly see how easy it is to give up on your dreams.  I’ve done it before… but it just wasn’t for me. I actually had a boyfriend break up with me and tell me that I needed to pursue my music career. He knew I wasn’t happy with what I was doing. He was right.. and it still took me another year to force myself to start working on it. Finally in 2008 I stepped onto a stage again… It’s been a crazy rollercoaster ever since with extreme highs and extreme lows and I only hope that it continues to get better until I’m finally living the life that God intended me to…

I can see how easy it would be to give up again.. But I’m not going to. And whatever it is that you’re trying to accomplish in your life, I’m telling you.  Don’t give up. Don’t look back on your life and wonder, “What if I had tried..”


6 thoughts on “I can see why people give up.

  1. Walk your own path, don’t compare yourself to others. Happiness comes from within, not from external sources. Keep walking, baby steps, go backward if you must but keep going! x

  2. In a way you are living your dream. You sing and play your music and make people happy. You have to try to move on up the ladder and get to a higher stage in your dream. Delaware doesn’t produce many up and coming artists. How does one get out of Delaware and enable herself to be closer to the action? It’s hard. You know I’m here whenever you decide to take it further.Maybe I could start a kickstarter for you and get some money up to make a demo cd? Maybe worth a try. You can’t just let go of your dream.Keep auditioning and keep performing. Keep yourself out there.People that hear you love your voice . Oh and Bethlehem is looking for performers for Musikfest in August. You know they draw a huge crowd 🙂 Keep up the great work. We love you xox

    • Thanks mom 🙂
      I thought submissions for Musikfest were over, but I’m hoping the band can play there in the future.
      As for what people can do to help, the best thing is to just keep referring people to my stuff and sharing things on social media. Right now we’re finishing up our demo and I don’t really have the time to work on a solo EP AND try and get the band together at the same time, so I’m kind of just putting my solo stuff on the back burner while I try to reform this band and get us going… It’s just a long and painfully slow process.

      And we still haven’t found a new guitarist!

      I do believe that Delaware isn’t the best place to grow a music career, but I’m doing the best I can with what I have for now. Raising Ethan is top priority, my life comes second.. but even he talks about how we should move to the city. Philly’s not that far away… We’ll see. 🙂

  3. I am so grateful that you never gave up. You have helped me in so many ways to grow, to learn, to try everyday to be a better person than I was yesterday. And your music is meaningful and purposeful and you are an amazing woman! If you ever wonder if you have made a difference, if all that you have struggled…if it all meant anything to anyone…it has. You’re example…your Spirit…is a gift to all that have the honor of knowing you! Keep on Rockin’ Sista!

    • Aww Mary Beth, thank you so much! That’s what it’s all about, really. Putting my music out there and hoping it makes a difference for people. You’ve always been very supportive and I am so thankful for that. I hope you’re doing well <333

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