It’s that moment when you realize that your baby boy is no longer a baby boy. When the magic seems to slowly begin to drift away… When you have “The Talk.”
Well… Not THAT talk..
Come on, he’s only ten!
No, I’m talking about the “is Santa real” talk!
So I’ve been wondering lately whether or not he still believes, mainly because he’s 10 and I stopped believing when I was about 8… After my mom said, “Go to bed so I can wrap your presents.” And it clicked in my child brain…
The other night as we were getting ready for bed, I couldn’t help but ask.
“Do you still believe in Santa?”
Ethan: “…do you?”
Me: “I asked you first.”
E: “But I want to know if you believe…”
Me: “…never mind.”
E: “Nooo tell me!”
Me: “I don’t want my answer to sway yours. Do you believe in Santa? Have you ever wondered if he wasn’t real?”
E: “Well… I do think its impossible for someone to live forever… And I don’t think he could get around to everyone’s houses in one night…”
Me: “If it’s not him, who do you think does it?”
E: “…I don’t know… Jesus?”
Me: “hmm nah.. I don’t think that Jesus is into the delivery thing.”
E: “but he delivers us from evil!” He says with a laugh.
Me: “haha True but I don’t think he’s Santa.”
E: “Then who is?”
Me: “Do you really want to know?”
And I watched him for a second, him with his big brown eyes so intent on learning the truth. So curious as to why he never knew it before and whether or not this lovable saint ever really existed… I contemplated keeping the truth to myself. Maybe for just another year? But it was too late now. He had already suspected and I had already opened the door.
Me: “I believe at one time Santa did exist. We carry on this tradition every year because… It’s fun!”
And I went on to explain the different stories of the origin of Santa and how he can decide which one he wants to believe in, or he can believe in all of them if he wants to. “It doesn’t really matter as long as you remember that Christmas isn’t about Santa, it’s about the birth of our Savior.” But we both agreed that we love everything about Santa and all of the magical parts of Christmas and for that reason we’re going to continue our traditions.
We’re still going to bake cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, we’re still going to watch Santa on the Santa Tracker, we’re still going to listen for reindeer bells jingling on the roof…
E: “So who leaves the presents??”
Me: “I do.. Because I love you!”
At that point he smiled pretty sweetly. I can only imagine he was feeling pretty loved. Then I told him… Now that he’s privy to this secret, he’s now become one of “Santa’s Helpers” and it’s his job to create the magic for his baby brother (his dad’s baby, not mine!).
He went to bed feeling pretty grown up, while I must admit I was feeling kind of sad… He is getting older… Hopefully the magic wont disappear altogether.
I don’t really see how it could.