i could really use a wish right now.

How often do you think we create our own setbacks?

I’ve always felt like life gives me a good kick in the rear frequently and consistently because… well, just because.  Life has never been easy on this side of the fence. I don’t think many people can say that it has been ever, really.  The trials and troubles we face here on earth help us. The mold us, the grow us, they teach us…. Or they hurt us. They destroy us. They keep us down.  But how much of that is really within our control?

I look at people I know whose lives are going well.. people who seem to have it good no matter what they do… and I wonder what makes them different.  Do they really have no problems at all? Do they really float over tribulations as though they’re on a cloud of inner peace and serenity, with smiles, and never a negative thought?  Are some people just lucky? Or destined to have it good? I highly doubt it, but who knows?

Everyone has their own brand of problems and how they handle them.  Maybe they do have problems. Maybe they have severe problems.  They just know how to handle them.

The title of this blog post is because I’ve been listening to that song Airplanes by B.o.B. and Hayley Williams, more specifically the version with Eminem.  I know it’s not a new song and it was played to death, but something about it just resonates with me as of late.


I look back at my life and where I am… the things that have helped me and the things that have hurt me… and I wonder “what if”.  If you’re not familiar with the song, here are a few lines..


Lets pretend Marshall Mathers never picked up a pen
Lets pretend things would have been no different
pretend he procrastinated had no motivation
pretend he just made excuses that were so paper thin they could blow away with the wind
Marshall, you’re never gonna make it. Makes no sense to play the game there ain’t no way that you’ll win….

Fuck a talent show in a gymnasium bitch, you won’t amount to shit! Quit daydreaming kid!
You need to get your cranium checked, you thinking like an alien, it just ain’t realistic!….

He’s gonna have a hard time explaining to Hailey and Laney these food stamps and this WIC shit.
cuz he never risked shit.
He hoped and he wished it, but it didn’t fall in his lap so he ain’t even here…

…Those are the lines that resonate with me the most. Because I know. Exactly. What. That. Feels. Like.


What I don’t know of (yet) is the feeling of overcoming those hurdles.  So I’m trying to change my perspective. Let those words, feelings, and experiences go. Stop them from haunting me and halting my future.  Maybe… Maybe I’ll just write songs about it and one day some kid will be listening to my music.. dreaming of a better life and plotting how they’ll make it happen.

 That’s the idea


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