Things that happened. Things that didn’t happen. Things that may never happen.

Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time with every thing I’ve ever tried to do.

But nothing feels more right to me than sharing a song.

Singing has always made me happy, ever since I can remember. Nothing has ever brought me so much peace. It literally soothes my soul.  No matter what’s going on… Putting it into song and singing it, whether it’s in front of an audience or not, has always been the most comfort to me.

It’s like breathing.

So why is it when things don’t happen I get discouraged so quickly? I guess my fear is that someday I’ll realize I’m not as good as I feel and the one thing that I’m the most passionate about will be just another thing that I’m not meant for and… then what?

Sure, I have a “back up plan” but it makes me miserable. Every other interest of mine (baking, writing, teaching) pales in comparison to my love for music. Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, I’m always wishing that I was making music.  I yearn for it.  My heart breaks for it.  I feel like it’s a engrained in my very being.  This is who I am and I can’t be anything else.

Dear God I hope I learn from these experiences. I hope that the let downs and the frustrations and struggles are merely obstacles and tribulations set forth to make me stronger and to build me up so that when I finally get to where I’m supposed to be I’m better than ever.  Sometimes it’s just hard to see past what’s right in front of you.

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6 thoughts on “Things that happened. Things that didn’t happen. Things that may never happen.

  1. “So why is it when things don’t happen I get discouraged so quickly?” Because it’s easy to get discouraged. It happens to me almost on a daily basis. Staying ENCOURAGED is hard, especially when things aren’t going our way. Perhaps some people are just so optimistic that they never get discouraged, but between you and me-I don’t like them. Nor do I trust them. I think disappoinment is a natural human response, and it’s healthy. It causes us to reflect on what we are doing. If we are headed down the wrong path, how would we know without being discouraged at some point? It is what causes that light bulb to go off and for us to realize we aren’t doing what makes us happy-and change.

    But that same self-reflection also reinforces our beliefs that we are indeed doing what we are supposed to be doing. Self-examination would never be neccessary if we succeeded at everything we did. We would just carry on, even if we are on the wrong path. And if we were on the right one, success would mean little.

    I’ve only heard a few of your songs but I think you are very good at what you do. If it’s your passion, the thing that brings you comfort, then I see no reason for you to stop. Success isn’t guaranteed. For anyone. And you never know what seemingly inconsequential thing can lead to success. Look at Jessica. A viral video. Who knew? There is no way you can plan that. So keep doing what you are doing. You’ll never get the brass ring if you stop reaching for it!

  2. P.S. I do think it’s a good idea to have a backup plan. The people who tell you to always follow your dreams and never compromise are the successful ones. You don’t hear from the 50 year old guy living in his car because he spent his whole life trying to become a rockstar and never had a plan B.

  3. So what you’re saying is…

    I should be discouraged because… that’s normal… and it’s human… but it also means that I’m not happy with what I’m doing so I should stop doing it and look for something else to do. Because if I was happy then I wouldn’t be discouraged? …But being discouraged also shows me that I *am* on the right path because if I wasn’t discouraged then succeeding wouldn’t mean anything to me, as if it were too easy so I could carelessly succeed. So being discouraged means success would be more appreciated. …But *just in case*… You shouldn’t quit your day job. Not to sound discouraging or anything.

    ….I’m scratching my head. I like to think that you were trying to make me feel better, so for that, I thank you. Just thought I’d point out though, it didn’t come in completely clear.

    So here’s the thing…
    I do believe that I can succeed. Do I want to be a rock star? Not particularly. I want to be successful. In that I want to do what I love for a living and not struggle to make ends meet. The ideal lifestyle for me would be to be a musician full time. To spend my time working on music, being involved in activities that do good and help others, and create some beautiful things in the meantime… That doesn’t mean I want to be a “rock star”, just that I don’t want to have to rely on a second career path that I abhor.

    So.. discouraged or not, I will continue, because music is what I love and, as I mentioned on Jess’s blog, I’m not settling for less than awesome. The hard part is squashing that little devil on my shoulder and instead focusing on the smiling faces and the joyful feeling I get when I perform.

    As far as discouragement, one of the things martial arts has taught me is that discouragement is just a part of the learning process. We train and we train hard. We push our bodies to the limits and then push them further and then? push them further. Where most people would stop and tell themselves they just can’t do it and when most people get so discouraged they give up? We keep going. Because WE CAN and WE WILL. The idea is to train harder in class so that nothing can hurt us outside of the school more than we hurt ourselves inside of the school.

    I think I’m rambling now, so I’ll stop there 😉

  4. Well when you put it like that, it does seem confusing. lol Disregard everything I said. In fact, you really should take anything I say with a very large grain of salt. I’ve made a complete mess of my life and there are days where I’m not even sure why I bother getting out of bed. So I am the last person that should be offering advice, or even encouragement for that matter.

    You actually sound like you have things pretty well under control. Probably more so than you realize. Just keep doing what you love and I think things will turn out fine.

    • I’m sure you haven’t made a *complete* mess of your life. As long as you still have the ability to get out of bed (and sometimes even folks who don’t have that ability can do this) there is always another day to change things.

      If you feel like your life is a mess then make it a priority to find out what needs to be cleaned up first and how to do it, then… Don’t waste any time and do it. Remember my previous post about distractions? There are so many of them.

      Don’t let doubt, resentment, discouragement, or fear force you to miss out on your blessings!

    • Also, don’t give up on trying to cheer people up. It’s good for you and good for the other person. Just be a little more mindful of what you say and how it’s said. One thing I’ve learned is that sometimes it’s just best to tell someone you’re listening and that everything will work out in the end.

      My favorite people to go to when I need to talk about something are the friends that rely on God and the Bible for answers. God gives the best advice.

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