Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time with every thing I’ve ever tried to do.
But nothing feels more right to me than sharing a song.
Singing has always made me happy, ever since I can remember. Nothing has ever brought me so much peace. It literally soothes my soul. No matter what’s going on… Putting it into song and singing it, whether it’s in front of an audience or not, has always been the most comfort to me.
It’s like breathing.
So why is it when things don’t happen I get discouraged so quickly? I guess my fear is that someday I’ll realize I’m not as good as I feel and the one thing that I’m the most passionate about will be just another thing that I’m not meant for and… then what?
Sure, I have a “back up plan” but it makes me miserable. Every other interest of mine (baking, writing, teaching) pales in comparison to my love for music. Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, I’m always wishing that I was making music. I yearn for it. My heart breaks for it. I feel like it’s a engrained in my very being. This is who I am and I can’t be anything else.
Dear God I hope I learn from these experiences. I hope that the let downs and the frustrations and struggles are merely obstacles and tribulations set forth to make me stronger and to build me up so that when I finally get to where I’m supposed to be I’m better than ever. Sometimes it’s just hard to see past what’s right in front of you.