thoughts on the drive home .

Phillybloco makes car rides much more entertaining.

I don’t like saying “I have my son that week”…because it implies that I do not have him the next week or the week prior.  It’s true.  That doesn’t mean I have to like it.  I feel like I should have him ALL the time.  It’s been about a year and a half since this custody agreement and I’ve not completely adjusted to not having my favorite human being on the face of this earth in my care 24/7.  I guess it’s sort of the same feeling a mother gets when she first drops her baby off at daycare.  It just doesn’t feel natural. 

It’s not natural.  In a perfect world his father and I would have been perfect for each other and would have stayed together and we would have been a perfect family, but it’s not a perfect world, is it?  I’m happy that my ex and I are not together anymore because we were not meant for each other.  I’m happy that he is now a part of his son’s life after so many years… but I miss my boy.  I get instantly sad when I drop him off.  I feel guilty when he’s not around, like I’m missing out. But this is how we have to live…

I guess it is fair.  I had Ethan in my care for 8 full years.  His dad should share a piece of his childhood.  It’s a good thing that he’s around.  I used to complain because he wasn’t around.  I know there are many single moms out there that do wish their child’s father wanted to be a part of their lives. This is a blessing.  It’s a sacrifice and a blessing.  I sacrifice those days where I don’t get to see him at all… and I’m blessed that he’s getting the experience of having a father.


I can’t wait to pick him up on Sunday.


This is a picture of Ethan when he was 3. I taught him how to test the beds in the department store 😉


3 thoughts on “thoughts on the drive home .

  1. So after stalking Jessica Latshaw’s blog the past few months I decided to come over here and stalk yours. Even though I’m not a vegan. Wait, do I have to be a vegan to comment here?

    I have dated single moms so I know the difficulty with dealing with the dad issue. You are lucky that your ex is interested in being a part of Ethan’s life, even though you miss him. I’d love to tell you that it get’s easier. It doesn’t. My friend gets sad everytime her 15 year old goes away for the summer. But every kid deserves to be loved by 2 parents. So Ethan is lucky.

  2. Ugh I can’t imagine him going away for an *entire* summer!

    And don’t worry, I don’t mind people stalking my blog. However, If you show up on my block THEN we’ll have some problems! 😉

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